


When All Else Fails

by ShenLong



Series: War Torn Arc [2]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Heero POV, M/M, Sap.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 10:36:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4916251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShenLong/pseuds/ShenLong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after Endless Waltz. Heero, having been released from hospital spends time recuperating at Relena's home. Realizing that the relationship with Relena is not what he has been looking for he leaves and sets out to find the one that really owns his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When All Else Fails

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own the G'boys. They belong to Bandai, Sotsu and associated copyright agencies. I just borrow them to play with from time to time. I do not own the song "When all else Fails" by John Farnham, I'm just using it without permission for this fic.
> 
> Part 2 of the 'War Torn Arc'

" When All Else Fails "

July 2002 ShenLong 

Heero POV 

I took one last look at the mansion and then turning my back I began to walk. It was hard to say good-bye, but necessary non the less. I knew those eyes were still on me as I walked, I could feel the tears that were being shed as my own burned behind frozen eyelids. We both agreed I had to leave. What I needed could not be found here. I was grateful for the solitude of the haven that had been put at my disposal for as long as I wanted. The injuries I had sustained during that last battle had taken their toll on my body; and once released from the hospital I had accepted Relena's offer to recuperate at her home. The physical healing had not taken as long as expected, but the healing of my soul was an entirely different matter. Relena cared for me. She had shown that on numerous occasions and tenderly nursed me back to health, but she was not the one that could cure the infliction upon my soul.

We both realize that now.

I tried to give her what she wanted; god how I tried.... she was so patient and gentle, never demanding anymore from me than I was able to give. Over the months we grew comfortable with each other and learned so much more, but try as I might, it could go no further. It was then with a heavy heart I told her of my decision. I remember her eyes as she listened to my words... words we both knew were true, our relationship could never move beyond its current level. She had known before I had that all I could ever be to her was a friend, and sadly she smiled that gentle smile of hers, gave me her blessing and set me free to find the one that had stolen my heart so long ago.

_I'm searching for something_  
 _That's so hard to find_  
 _I'm falling down mountains_  
 _I can't seem to climb._

As I walked I could only hope that what I had felt during the wars was still there. I had searched my own soul on occasions to numerous to count and still returned to the same conclusion. Now, finally accepting those feelings, I walked the path intent on discovering if there could be any truth behind them.

_Driving down highways_   
_That don't have an end_   
_I can't find the sign, am I lost again?_

The landscape blurred past as I stared out the window, body jolting every now and then from the movement of the vehicle which had swallowed me. The driver had long ago given up attempts at conversation, we sat in companionable silence as the speedometer clocked up the miles. Although my eyes watched and recorded the trees and valleys that sped past, the image became distorted along the network of the optic nerve until the one that reached my brain was of your warm, smiling face.

_When all else fails - You will be there_   
_When all else fails - I'll hold on to you_   
_When all else fails - You'll still be there_   
_When all else fails - I'll turn to you._

The earth space port was crowded as I made my way to the counter to pick up my ticket and check in for the flight. With time to spare I headed through the jostling crowd to the small coffee shop and made my purchase. Finding a seat amongst the throng of people I watched as the world continued to turn on its axis, oblivious to the tide of humanity it nurtured. The hot, black liquid scalded my tongue as it made its way to my belly, the taste was not as pleasant as I would have liked, then again, no one could make a coffee the way you could. It was these small, little nuances of yours that had first stirred the well of emotion that I wasn't aware existed in my soul. I only wish I had recognized the signs sooner.

_I'm selfish and jealous,_   
_I'm proud and a fool_   
_I'm walking with strangers_   
_And strangers are cruel._

I made my way to the boarding gate, shepherded along with the rest of the flock and into the waiting shuttle. Strapped into my seat I closed my eyes as the sound of the engines assaulted my ears and allowed my mind to drift. Once more I was in my Gundam, controls firmly in my hands as I fought the enemy.... As always you were there to support me and cover my back. We did a lot of that you and I. I remember the various schools and missions we were thrown together in - always you were there for me, supporting and encouraging, picking up the pieces and putting our miserable lives back together. I often wondered about that. Why you did it. We were soldiers.... We were expendable and yet there was something more..... Something in your actions that you would not allow words to confirm. I could only hope that I had interpreted those actions in the correct way.

_I'm praying to gods_   
_That I don't even know_   
_I'm ready and willing,_   
_Where do I go?_

The blackness of space enveloped the tiny craft as it left the earth's atmosphere and began its journey across the void. Staring at the countless stars I was again reminded of the true beauty of the universe. But even its beauty could not compare with yours. Even when you were hurt, lying swathed in bandages, bleeding and bruised from another vicious battle your inner light managed to shine through. The way you tended to my own injuries conveyed to me that at least someone cared. Even if it was only to ensure I would live to fight another day. The gentleness of your touch as you held me and soothed away the nightmares told me more than words ever could.

_When all else fails - You will be there_   
_When all else fails - I'll hold on to you_   
_When all else fails - You'll still be there_   
_When all else fails - I'll turn to you._

The sight of the colony as we came in to dock brought a lump to my throat and a chill to my body. I could only hope I wasn't making the biggest mistake of my life, and yet somehow I doubted that. I disembarked along with the rest of the mob and once clear of the terminal I stepped out into the artificial sunlight and drew in a breath of stale tasting air. Following my emotions had been the hardest mission to accept, but now I was here there was no going back. And so with a purpose to my stride I set out along the dirty street.

_I know I might be mistaken_   
_But its the chance I'm taking_   
_I'm walking on the wire._

I turned the corner and made my way down past various buildings until I came to a gateway. I paused and looked inside. The yard was just as I had imagined it would be, piles of metal gleaming in the sunlight, mountains of parts and various other mechanical items strewn about. A sense of organized chaos reigned and there in the middle of it all, halfway up a pile of scrap, rummaging around for heaven knows what, you stood. The artificial sun chose that moment to send a beam dancing over your frame, lighting you up with a fire that could only belong to an angel. Bathed in a halo of shimmering light, from the top of that silken hair to the tips of your black boots you surely looked as if you were a gift from the gods.

_I have been burned by temptation_   
_I'm drawn into that fire,_   
_I'm lost in my desire_

Feeling my eyes upon your form you looked up, a huge smile broke on that face as you recognized me. My breath caught in my throat as you bounded down from that pile to run and embrace me in a fierce hug. My own arms responded as I crushed your body to mine. You pulled back and searched my face as I tried desperately to show my feelings in my eyes. No words were needed, like an open book you scanned the pages and understood the meaning. The smile you granted me was the answer I had hoped with all my heart to receive. Again you hugged me close and I could feel your heart beating just as wildly as my own. Your lips found mine and I responded with every fiber of my being, parting to allow the intrusion of your tongue to meet and acquaint with my own. As they did so, I felt my soul leave to meet with yours, entwine, join and then return complete. A peacefulness washed over me as my soul healed. Our kiss broke and I stared once more into amethyst jewels so full of love and understanding. Tilting your head, you spoke three words that made my life complete.

"Welcome home, Heero."

Home..... Yes I had finally come home. You knew long before I did that this is where I belonged. In true fashion though, you knew I had to realize it for myself and so patiently you had waited, safe in the comfort of knowledge that one day I would return to you. I turned to capture your lips and staring deep into your eyes I whispered the only words I knew to convey my emotions.

"Ai-shiteru, Duo."

_When all else fails - You will be there_   
_When all else fails - I'll hold on to you_   
_When all else fails - You'll still be there_   
_When all else fails - I'll turn to you._

~ Owari ~


End file.
